About three years ago, Martell and I watched a DVD called The Secret and although I have always reiterated to him that we all have abilities to control our destiny through envisioning and making it so, I had just never seen it documented before. I was blown away and using test samples in every day life. I began trying to redirect my life by focusing on what I longed for and not what I felt I could not have.One of the first lessons I would learn is that the universe doesn't let you 'have it all' just because or without clear, concise will of positive energy. It can't...the universe is naturally chaotic...which is why even though everyone would love to win the lottery, or the casino jackpot or any type of winning through chance, it is not possible. If this were the case, instead of a few large winners, there would be millions of small winners, case in point, it wouldn't be the lottery anymore if everyone was a winner? I'm not saying it's a guaranteed thing to win things through thought, just an attitude adjustment that it belongs to you and so the universe has to work to make it so (in all things).
The second thing was, I began to 'see' things, almost as if revealed. Especially when it came to Motor V. If there was challenge and I had put into the universe that I resisted against wrong doing, a trivial matter would sprout before my eyes waiting to see if I would put my money where my mouth was. But I didn't back down to the challenge, and I learned to love these tests because they helped me grow; spiritually and in mental strength. I felt there was no battle I couldn't conquer and there was no weapon from an outsider wishing ill-will which could strike against me and defeat the cause of good or advancement.
Finally, there is powerful energy in human emotion. If you've ever walked into a room where two or more people feel anger towards each other, you physically 'feel' the tension. And vise versa, when you see two people gazing into each other's eyes lovingly, your emotions soften not necessarily because you're in love but because there's love in your presence. Even tears or fear are contagious to those of us that are emotionally in tuned with our environment.
For example, when rumors of my branch closing were constantly rising, I prayed not to be put into the middle of something that was out of my control. I tried to prepare my staff for the best and the worst and I knew my destiny was restructuring to be somewhere else.
Right when I had gone through a series of transitions-new hair style, new management position, new branch opportunity, new surgery, new house-I needed to conquer a few things, leap some hurdles, organize and see results, face fears and I took the opportunity to not run and jumped into solving situations whether I knew the battle would be a lonesome one or if I had support. If it was in the name of right, I was taking it on. Man did I feel the force of time and space as well as a growing number of enemies that had to do their job as well when I took ownership of an ordeal.
At the height of all this activity, that's when a very special individual came back into my life from nearly two years earlier. My discovery was that we were both going through life changing events and we were able to provide support for the other. Once we bonded again, our lives intertwined and connected at such a rapid speed, I don't know how it all fell into place but it did. This new beginning is surreal at most times but it was because I had put so much of my heart and soul into an organization that didn't really want me there. Surprisingly enough, it hurt to let it go because I thought I was making a difference in other people's lives so I had let go of my own life. When I asked the universe to give me an opportunity to be in a relationship where I could love and grow with someone that simply wanted the same thing, I understood that for so many years, I had mastered motherhood, management but couldn't keep a relationship without trying to control it to no avail. I also specifically asked for the chance to finish my schooling without so much obstruction, I was exhausted from the demands and drama from work and I wanted peace and relaxation for a change.
My first position before all others however, was to get Martell situated for a new life without me being so accessible in his life. Just the thought of severance hurt to let him go off on his own but we have both grown from the experience. His success is monumental and definite in my requests where every battle is overcome with a step closer to his destination and I pray it's God's will that I witness it.
If you would have asked me this time last year where I would be today, I would have not even bat an eye when stating that "only 14 more years to go until retirement....I'll never leave motor vehicle....it's all I know...they need me here." Never in a million years would I have said that I'd be leaving that 20 year career, dashing to the desert of Fontana, in a flourishing, supportive and nurturing relationship, finishing my degree, with endless possibilities for a new future journey. A chance in sharing my life with someone that doesn't want to feel a similar emptiness and didn't want to hurt or be used any longer, there was an upcoming hope where I envisioned a promising lifestyle; I could breathe and start over and I'm doing just that...amazingly because I asked for it.
http://www.thesecret.tv/top-secret-summary-of-teachings.html
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